iMMense iNteNsity

My final post.. and a change of blog.

2009-11-08T12:34:00.003+08:00

This year hasn’t really been one of great memories since all the fuss about my subjects not being school-taught.

It’s not my fault they do not have a wide array of subjects. The principle basically said that there was no point in me WASTING my parents money. In a way he was right, but he could have been less rude about it. Then on the 9^th of June I broke my leg in a rugby practice match right before the biggest tournament of the year.

That was, although annoying, nice in the way that I had the support from my friends and leaders of the Kuching Rugby Football Club. It was still however, more bad news. And more bad news as the year went on. My brother-in-law’s mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Then… My brother-in-law himself. I practically cried over my sister and her boys. How they handled it, I do not know. God’s grace is my only assumption. Then last but not least is, as you may or may not know, the loss of my beloved father.

I think I should tell you the story, or what I remember, of what happened. Do not read this if it is too painful. This is my point of view.

I just thought you would like to have the option.

Dad had been ill for a few weeks. Mum and I both thought it was nothing much, just the average fever. Then it seemed to get worse. Dad refused to go to a doctor, for fear that they would talk about his weight. He kept taking Chinese herbs that supposedly he believed would make him better. However, this would only be psychological. It got worse. He started getting diarrhea. It was black in colour. We didn’t know, but it was blood. We just thought it was his kidneys/liver clearing all the bad stuff. It still got worse. Mum and I were starting to get really worried. Dad finally agreed to go see the doctor once he had suffered through a few spasms. They were horrible to look at. You want to do something but there is nothing you can do. It was the most depressing and scary thing I have ever seen.

After that, the doctor gave him some medicine and told him it was a kidney infection. But it was not just that, it was a lot more. She advised him to go to the hospital which he refused. He finally gave in a few days later. The prior days he had been getting slightly better and had been going downstairs but could not manage to get up the stairs. One evening I had to help him out of the car to the bank and back, then upstairs. That day I hoped ever so much that he was going to go to the hospital. Something felt different. I felt that night; a controversial, calm yet worried sensation. As if, if he had gone to hospital that day he may have survived. A few days later, he went into hospital. He was in ICU for a day or two while the doctors ran lots of different checks and scans to see what the core problem was. Nothing could really be worked out. It seemed he had been ill for a long time already, we just never knew. Then that night the doctor said things were ‘critical’ and to ‘prepare for the worst’. I cried. I called our family and told them of the situation. Mum asked me to ask my sister to sort out getting the next flight out to here.

12^th August, ETD: 6:35am.

We get a call from the hospital saying come urgently. Bring your family. We rushed to the hospital. They told us that he had died. They did all they could but everything just failed. That was it. We walked over to his side and floods of tears fell. We spent a few minutes with him before telling everyone. That one moment, the world stopped. It was almost unbelievable. My dad was gone. The one security we never really knew we needed so much until it was gone. The wall that was behind us, was demolished. It tore my heart open. It really did. I just cried. Mum cried too. Mum asked me what the time was. It was 7:17am on the 12^th of August. 7 days after my birthday. 7 is my favourite number because it rhymes with heaven and 777 is said to be heaven’s door number. It seems silly to think it was a sign, but I don’t think it was unintentionally a coincidence.

We had to meet 3 of my siblings at the airport. That was hard. They hadn’t heard because they had been on the plane. Once we picked them up we went straight to the place where Dad was to be buried. It was a beautiful Chinese place with beautiful landscaping. It was very clean and tidy although expensive.

The service started at the morgue at the General Hospital. It went well. A lot of my friends and classmates came. Those who couldn’t make it, sent bouquets of flowers. Also, dad’s companies sent flowers too. They looked beautiful. I was so thankful that I was surrounded by loving, caring people. Although they couldn’t do anything, that they were there was enough for me.

My brother and I wrote a poem and said it out at dad’s funeral. My other brother read out one that two of my sisters had picked out. Mine starts with a verse of introduction and then into a slightly different style. They are as follows:

Memories Heal

by Patrick

Father, brother, husband and friend.

A good man to the end.

Without you here life seems wrong.

It's hard to believe that your gone.

Happiness seems so long and far.

And darkness follows where ever we are.

Love seems gone, until you ask why?

Tears of sadness can become joy.

Our memories of you, brings warmth to our hearts.

Your smile your laugh is where it all starts.

Chosen Poem

read by Robert John

He is Gone

You can shed tears that he is gone
or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he's gone
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Lost. Regretful. Dealing with it.

by Barnaby Chiew

What’s a boy suppose to do,

When his father's gone and left him blue,

Left him wondering where you are,

And why you were taken away so fast.

I can’t express in words,

How much you mean to me,

I haven’ t just lost a father,

I've lost such a friend as thee.

I just took for granted,

All the things you did,

All the ways you showed me,

How much you really cared.

But deep down in that heart of mine,

That sincere nod of truth,

Showed me that you loved me back,

Showed me you understood.

Understood the love I gave,

My broken heart to be,

I know your looking down upon,

What’s left of me.

And as your up there, up above.

A guardian angel, lighting our path,

Knowing that you've done your part,

You'll never ever leave our hearts.

That poem took me hours to write. I had writer’s block. I am usually usually writing them with ease, but this one struck me hard. I had to sit on the top of the stairs listening to music to think of what to write. Hope you like it.

Sometimes I lock myself in my room, other times I go for a walk. Just to get away.

I’m dealing with everything, although I never knew what to say when people say I’m sorry. I hardly think it worth saying. I feel like saying was it you who caused my father’s death? No? Well why are you apologizing for?

I just say thanks and try to move on with another topic.

Life has changed, and I think it's time for change..

www.lifewithoutafather.blogspot.com

Happiness

2009-07-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

One person can make the difference between happiness and deep, deep depression. One friend, one family member, one lover or even one stranger. The saying goes that "the one you love the most, is also the one who can hurt you the most", but I personally think that there is one point they miss out...

"the one who can hurt you the most is also the one who can make you the most happiest person in the world."

So you see, one person can trigger such an emotional change in you. And by one decision, they can change your whole life.

One thing that you have to remember is that it is YOU who chooses to accept the changes, emotional or physical. Also, it is you that allow these changes to lead you into whatever happens throughout your life.

Whether, you meet new people and move on, or stay in a slumhole, and sadly, perish.

You cant live your life down in the dumps all the time. We have to pick ourselves up.

It's easier said than done, I understand that. I myself struggle with the factor. But after a while, you tend to realise, as time passes, (and believe me it takes time) you do make that move.

Take care everyone,

iMMense

Girlfriends..

2009-06-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

They're great aren't they?

When you're in love, and there is that spark, that one spark that makes you know you wanna spend the rest of your life with that person. That one girl. You think she is the one. The one you will love forever. But what happens when you're in a fight. A big argument. What happens then? What has changed? Everything.

Your life turns upside down, youre stomach churns, making you feel sick. You wanna cry (and sometimes you do), you wanna explain, talk it over. But it just doesn't happen. She doesn't want to talk. And the worst part about it is when you realise, she can have anyone she wants. But you... you only want her. How could that happen? How did you go from the lovey dovey stage to pure despair and desperation??

Yeah, its hard. We all go through it. Sometimes it's harder than other times. But YOU have to PULL THROUGH. You have to pull yourself up. Even if you've turned into a babbling idiot, you wait. You may break up (heaven forbid), you may take time to reconnect, or you may go back to the way things were. The right way. The way it was supposed to be.

And thats what we all hold out for. Hoping they will come back, like a bird we let go. Literally in some sense of the word.

If it happens, great. If not, we pull ourselves back up. And move on.

We have to do this. If we didn't we would waste away in self-pity and deep depression. So if this is your situation, knowing what to do is the first part, doing it is totally another.

Its harder than it sounds, I know. A lot harder. Friends and family can pull you up, but if you dont stand up on those two feet, you fall again. Pull yourself up. Get off that chair or bed and go out. Meet people at the kind of place you would want them to hang out. For example, if you want a girl who goes clubbing, go to the club. If a book reader is more your fancy, Starbucks or Coffee Bean would be more youre area.

Introduce yourself in a unintentional way. Without intention. Get to know the person. Get up, Get out and Go.

-iMMense

Reunions and a stupid mistake. SORRY. hehe

2009-04-25T11:43:00.002+08:00

Damn. It was soo much fun. We went out to eat at a japanese restaurant. And the old man daniel, ordered kedongdong. LOls. What a weird name.

I would like to apologize to SAM and DAN. I accidentally DELETED the pics from my phone when trying to move them to a different folder.

Gah. 162 pics. ALL GONE.

Stupid mistakes.

Past few weeks.

2009-04-25T11:39:00.001+08:00

What has been happening with

iMMense

these past few weeks?

Ive been:

1) Going to parties

2) Going to reunion dinners

3) Going cyber

4) School

5) Drumming

the usual sort of things.

The DRUMMING weekend.

2009-04-13T21:49:00.002+08:00

Last weekend was crazy.
Drumming on saturday from 12.30 till 5.30 then 5.45 till 8.
Drumming on sunday for another hour in the morning and another 2 hours or so, in the afternoon.

Like. wow.

super long. the most ive ever drummed in one weekend/day.

Me outs.

iMMense.

eXtReMe BoOt CamP!

2009-04-13T21:34:00.003+08:00

Venue: Santubong Resort
Date: 30th April till 3rd May
Contact my mobile @ 0168749840,
my email @ lerg_chiew_7@hotmail.com.

LODGIANS ALL WELCOME.
A christian camp for all non-muslim lodgians.
ALL WELCOME. Non - believers all welcome.

Looking for a mountaintop experience? Something of a change? Something to spark an interest into that boring, sad, depressing life of yours? JOIN THE CAMP NOW!

A once in a lifetime experience. Fun, games, activities and sessions.
DONT WAIT. JOIN NOW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9smGBtboLeU

Farewell to Mr.Rogers..

2009-04-05T20:19:00.003+08:00

Well, after his time in Lodge International, he has finished his contract with us and will continue the rest of his retirement in the UK. It was fun, while it lasted.

His farewell was fun. Though sad.

more pics coming soon. :D

iMMense.

The Kuching High Gala Dinner Dance

2009-03-15T23:01:00.004+08:00

This happened yesterday. It was a fundraising dinner/dance for Kuching High School which had recently been burned down in a fire due to a short fuse. The estimated cost of the renovation of Kuching High was RM 6.4 million. The government have said they would fund RM 2 million to the cause. Meaning the school still has to somehow fund the other RM4.4 million.
I was invited by a classmate, (valerie) who is an ex-highan. I didnt want to go alone, so I invited Marc to go with me. What we didnt know, was that we were sitting with my classmates ex-teachers. How fun! (sarcasm, please note.)

After the meal, which was fairly pleasant, and the various dance performances, the night was young and the dance floor was open.

Marc and I then joined Val and her friends. We danced. We had a laugh and it was actually an enjoyable time. I'm glad I went afterall. Although I did feel slightly overdressed, as it was supposed to be semi - formal and some people were in jeans and shirts. Oh well.

iMMense

Reasons..

2009-02-26T13:41:00.002+08:00

Everyone always has a reason. A reason for this, a reason for that. Whatever the outcome is, there's always a bladdy reason. What would happen if we took away reasons? The world would prrobably crumble. Seriously though. Whatever we have done, whether wrong or right, there is always some reason for doing so.

Sometimes it just doesnt make sense, other times it makes perfect sense.

And then, being the hypocrite I am, I will ask this question. Why does everyone have to act like assholes. Why cant people just let things be, sometimes. It just doesn't make sense. *sigh* I would really like to know what REASON they have for doing so.

You wanna know what the absolute best reason for ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING is?

-Because. Just because.

It doesn't even require a reason. It is a reason. And you know what?
It also doesn't make any f*cking sense.
And so, that is the reason I love it. Also the reason I hate, when I'm on the recieving end.

Laters,
iMMense.

Stress, Fever, Problems.

2009-02-25T13:18:00.002+08:00

Okay.

To start off, yesterday I was in an indecisive mood when I woke up. I decided to be happy. Then on came the fever, whilst at school. The symptoms being : feeling tired, hot and sweaty. So that wasnt a great day.

I am kinda stressed out with all preparation for Boot Camp Extreme too. I feel like I'm not doing much while at the same time doing so much. It's a weird feeling. As if my own expectations can't be reached. Simple answer some will say: lower your expectations. It's easier to say than to be done.

Lastly, I'm worried for my family. Some of them have been made redundant because of this economic crisis and my brother will probably have to go to work at about 70 to 80 miles away from home, making it hard for him to see his girlfriend and kids. So will be praying for that lately.

Also am very busy and stressed now, as my four subjects Divinity, (Bible Study) Psychology, Biology and Art. Plus alot of work for my Thinking skills and English.

Lastly, a british thing. After you turn 15/16, if youre a guy (not everyone follows this rule - there are exceptions) there's a sort of rule where the faster you sleep with a girl - the better. And I argued with my friend over it, the other day.

Till next time,
iMMense.

Well..

2009-02-25T13:13:00.002+08:00

Ok, although I havent been posting that often, I've noted that I've been recieving more hits lately. So for the fact that more of you are reading this, (possibly meaning you actually care about what happens in this meaningful and colourful life of mine) I will try my best to write more often.

As I have said before, sometimes I do write about problems and that may be the reason why some of you do read my blog other than wondering whether I'm still alive.

In my next post, continued in a few minutes I will be giving a brief explaination of the problems I have been having lately. Please bear in mind that although I will be saying them out in public, I do not wish you to think differently because I think my way. I'm from England and have moved over here to Malaysia while still having a western-world thinking.

Anyway, here goes.

iMMense.

Post 67

2009-02-25T01:02:00.001+08:00

Just writing a quick message, just to let you all know I'm still alive.

:D

Will write more when I'm not sleepy.

iMMense

Thoughts, words , feelings

2009-02-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

Rhetorical questions, thoughts, feelings, sayings..

This post will be on mine for the last few days.

I won't just screw up once, I'll screw up a few times & if you can tolerate that, long enough to not want to kill me -say "I do"

(only for girls - I'm straight, as you should know)

A broken heart can't heal,

what a broken heart can't feel,

yet, a broken heart can't feel anymore.

Sometimes we keep things inside, just to save the people it's about from getting hurt.

You can always talk to me,

Whenever you're in doubt,

Anytime, any place,

Just know when to give a shout.

Life just is.

We're just making the most of the cards we're dealt with.

iMMense

Metamorphasis..

2009-02-04T21:19:00.002+08:00

Change. We all change. Over time and in different places.
My life changed when I came over here. I had new experiences, made new friends. made family.
Where is my life gonna end up? only God knows.

What do I do next? I dont know. Things happen. Things you can't anticipate. Things you can't predict. If you did know what decisions you were going to make, before you made them, would you still make them even if you knew they would be a bad choice? Would you still make the mistakes you made before if you knew the outcome? If you ever learned anything from the experience, I dont think you would.

"Destiny is something we have no control over." - Eminem

Things change. Change from the mistakes you make. When you have a choice, make it from your heart.

iMMense.

Valentines day

2009-02-04T20:59:00.002+08:00

Well.. its been a short while. Not as long as usual but still.
I've been ok.. I mean I've had my ups and downs but i haven't been too depressed as of late, which I'm thankful for. Today wasn't great though.

Valentines day is just around the corner, and how unlucky, friday the 13th is just before it.
Does this mean we'll all get dumped and make up the next day?

Guys get your gifts ready. Make those out there you care about there show how much you care.
But one tip: Dont go overboard. (learned from other's experience - thankfully)

You know, I start to hate Valentines day. I find it very over rated. Yet, i'll still make a fuss of my friends and get them something. Hey, even if I'm down in the dumps, I don't want my friends to be now, do I?

I'm not sure about going to alpha training. At the moment, I really don't feel like going. It's gonna be one hectic day already filled with mixed emotions. I'll probably be helping people get over other people. Or even be taking the day off to be emo. :D

Oh wells,

iMMense.

Phew...

2009-01-29T22:42:00.001+08:00

Wow.. today has been a long, exhausting day.

It started off by going to the libaray at about 10.20 with Marc. The library was across river, so Marc's mum drove us there. Another reason why I cant wait to drive. :D
Once we got there we went up and had to come back downstairs to pass the man our bags as we weren't allowed to keep them with us, in the library.

So then we went up the stairs again with our books. We then went to the sejarah ( history ) section to look for books on the UN Investigation for the Formation of Malaysia. For LAN.
No bladdy info there. They had books on EVERYTHING else there though. How gay.

So after a while a tireless searching we went out to get a bite to eat. We went down to the cafe - closed. Damn it.

So we walked through the pouring rain to KGS cafe. From there we had our lunch. Saw belle there with her family, having lunch also.

After that we got a taxi back to the library, so didn't need to walk through the rain again.

Then came back at 4.30. Got back, took a quick warm shower and ended up getting back into my wet clothes to go out with Daniel, Daniel and James. lol.

Went for steamboat. Lovely. Left my bag there by accident and had to go back later for it. THANK GOD it was still there when we came back. I was praying, but still. Went for a drink at starbucks with the same people as dinner. Then came home.

Then went online and now typing this.

iMMense.

P.S feeling a bit mixed today. Not feeling too well since yesterday either.

Then came home.

Hell yeah..

2009-01-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

Well, I know its been a hell of a long time since I last wrote/posted something on here.
New year, new beginnings ey? No, not really.

Chinese new year? kind of a dud. Asked to go out with people to other people's houses. I get it, its a tradition, like Raya.

But it means, spending money we dont have, on people we dont care that much about.. all for ? the spirit of a new year??

Christmas is understandable. We get things we want.(most of the time) but cny? money. it makes the world go round? or does the world revolve around it?

as you can probably tell by now, im not in the best of moods. And should i be?

now, dont go f*cking psycho-analysing. I know who I am and why I'm pissed off. I dont need you trying to explain it to me.. and i dont have a f*cking problem so stop trying to solve it. Yeah, I know you all care and im thankful for it.

but at the same time. right now? i couldnt give a f*ck.

yes, i guess you could say this is the REAL me.

Why do people always say this is the REAL them, after they have just bursted out in anger or something similar. Why the hell, is it always after they've done something bad?? More than likely it was a f*cking mistake and probably yeah, they let it happen. But it was always sparked by someone or something else.

Well, thats life. Hard to believe that earlier today, I was in a good mood.

Please, no comments this post. If you wanna talk you know my email and/or phone number, if not, you shouldnt know my email anyway, as I probably dont know you well enough.

And James, dont ask.

iMMense

End..

2009-01-05T11:08:00.002+08:00

This is it.
The end of my UK trip for 2008. Till November 2009.

Happy New Year to all of you. In which, I wish all of you God's blessings and good fortune for the year ahead.

It was fun. Snowboarding twice, dinner at Nando's, Science museum, Family outings, family events, Christmas, house party, hall party, nights out on the town.. and so on..

Now, time to put my head down and get studying, while being relaxed at the same time of course..
Cant wait to get back to school and for the weekend of seeing my mates again. I hope they have missed me. :D

iMMense

Weekend at my sisters..

2008-12-22T09:55:00.002+08:00

Hey guys and gals.
Well still in England, and still, luckily, having fun.
Family can be kinda annoying but I do have the antidote, friends and good times.
I miss all of you back in Kuching.

Well, no white christmas this year, which would have been nice. It really doesnt feel like christmas this year as I kinda feel that it's come too fast. I didn't even get an advent calendar this year. So, oh well.

Today was my good mate's birthday. Funnily enough he blows me off at the last minute to go see some special girl who had planned a special evening for him. we all know what that means...

Well, screw him. Not literally obviously. I was pretty annoyed but end up just going to the cinema with my other mate instead and watched 'YES man'. Tomorrow we are probably going to go again to watch 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'.

Which I'm looking forward to.

Take care everyone.

iMMense.

Updates (again)

2008-12-16T19:00:00.002+08:00

Well, it's been a good long time since I last updated on my wonderful, inspirational, adrenaline-junkie, boring, amusing, teenage life.

Went snowboarding last last weekend. That was absolutely brilliant. The first session was scary as I started to get back to turning and riding straight on a snowboard. That was hard. I fell down a few times, but it didnt hurt very much. After the first session during the break, I had a double shot of Southern Comfort which took the edge off of my nerves so I could actually have some fun!

I managed to nail one of the boxes and one rail, without falling down!
Now after that I really knew why people snowboard.
You get more of an adrenaline rush from snowboarding, than you do from doing drugs or alcohol. EXTREME SPORTS are the way!

Then went to the N.E.C Bikeshow. That was cool. Found some on-road buggy's that looked really cool, some I'd love to drive.

The weekend just past, I went to Poole with my great aunt, mum and sis. We stayed in a B & B and went to Monkey world, which was quite fun.

Its a shock how smart orang utan's really are.
True story: One in America, snapped a piece of wire from the gate and kept the wire in it's mouth. It then, once the keepers and visitors had all gone to sleep, it used the piece of metal wire to pick the lock, and escape!

Thats all for now,
Christmas & New Year soon

iMMense

Friends and family..

2008-11-27T04:12:00.004+08:00

Life sucks. Sometimes.

You know, when I was in Malaysia, I really couldn't understand why some of my family wouldn't speak or even be in the same house at the same time, let alone get along with each other. Now, I'm starting to understand why some people DONT/CANT get along with others.

I'm understanding now, moreso than before, why secrets are kept. Why things are left unspoken.
There is alot I'd love to say. But we all fear the repurcussions afterwards. These are the things that make us keep our mouths shut, locked, and the key - thrown away.

It's so hard to get along sometimes, that we find we just have to walk out the room. It kind of upsets me that people can be so idiotic and insensitive. But at the same time, I'm one to call one.

As the british say, "It's like the pot calling the kettle black".
You may understand it better, if I tell you that the pot and kettle were both black, back in the day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

iMMense

Bleed like me..

2008-11-23T09:21:00.002+08:00

Lovely song by Trapt.
Have had a cold lately. Not nice.
-1.5oC doesnt help either.
I dont mind the weather, I actually like it. It just doesn't do anything for my cold, thats all.

Party was all right. Wasn't that bad. Had fun, met a few cool lads and girls. Met lisa, charlotte, molly and charlie from Nash Mills. That was cool. 7 year reunion all the way!

A couple of a******s and b*****s though. which you'll always get anyway, so whatever.

Not working now, cause the job fell through. Church sale went well today raised 130 quid from the chocola.Which was good.

Well, england isnt what it used to be.

I still love it though.

Laters.

iMMense

Updates..

2008-11-21T04:33:00.003+08:00

Ok, I've had a few people asking for updates, so here goes.
Arrived saturday, went to my neices party. Was hanging out with one of my best mates before that. Sunday went church. Monday, Tuesday was hanging out with my buds from Kings Langley. Made a fake ID lol. It works too. Knew it would. Cool.
Wednesday (yesterday) went round a friend's house and played on her trampoline with her and another mate. I attempted a back flip and landed on my head with my head between my knees.
Ouch. Also managed to do a few front flips. Had loads of fun.
Fixed up my bicycle too..

Over the next few days, going to a party and hanging out with mates. As usual.

Laters.

iMMense

Leaving..

2008-11-11T00:18:00.002+08:00

Time feels like it's gone now. It seemed so far away before. I had a whole year with all my friends from Year 11. Now, I've got like 3 days left to see them. Then they'll be gone.
Possibly forever.

Time always seems like it lasts forever when you don't want it to. As the saying goes, Time flies when you're having fun.

As wonderful as going back to England is, I'm having second thoughts as I always do. I mean, I'm leaving behind all the friends I have, all the fun times I would have had here. Yet at the same time, it's only for two months and maybe it shouldn't even matter.

I mean, i will be back, but still. The thought makes me feel like crying. Depression isn't always fun.

Take your sweet time with life. It doesn't always last that long.
Say the things you want to say, it's often those unspoken words that could help us find our way.

iMMense.

Leaving..

2008-11-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Futsal..

2008-11-09T23:27:00.003+08:00

Well, yesterday and today have been fun, exciting, tiring and mutilatingly emotionally tough, yet spiritually life-giving.

Saturday, 08 November 08.................................Sunday, 09 November 08
Woke up : 10am, ..................................................Woke up : 6am
Extra econs class : 10-12.30................................2 x Church service : 6.45 - 10am
Maths tuition : 12.30 - 2.30 ...............................Watch practice for concert : 2 - 2.30
Rugby (match against Army) : 3.30 - 5.30 .....Futsal match : 3 - 6
Youth practise : 5.30 - 7.25................................Watch TV : ? - ?
Youth service : 7.30 - 9.30.................................Write this : ? - 11:44pm

This is not inclusive of the rush i was in, to get from place to place.

Futsal (indoor football)
was really loads of fun. Thanks to sean, ron, john, ann and daniel for playing alongside me and inviting me to join.

I just wanna say a quick word on the power of the praise and worship on Saturday.
During the practise, it seemed nothing was going the right way. Nothing was working out.
After prayer and more practise, I really believe I felt God's prescence as I do, when I feel He is really there.

iMMense

Old love..

2008-11-03T20:17:00.003+08:00

What do you do when something happens that you don't realise at first. Something you never even thought would happen..

It's so hard to give up, what we love the most.
It's sucks, when you actually realise you gave up something you could have had.
Something that could have possibly been the greatest time of your life.

The hardest part is when you try to get it back. So, you go out of your way, to do all you can.
Thinking something might actually happen.

You move closer. You watch her move slightly away. And you realise things are changed forever.
You realise it. You realise that she'll never be yours again. No matter how much you want it. How much you wish it.

She laughs at your jokes and you have such a great time until you realise this.

It's like a stabbing pain, that wasn't there before. Emotional pain. The worst kind.
Cause it doesn't just go away. It stays.

And it takes a long time for anyone to get you out of that mindset.

Until you meet the next person. Somehow, some part of you still waits for the same thing to happen again. As the pain continues to grow.

Unbearable.

iMMense

KRFC vs Lodge

2008-11-03T18:05:00.002+08:00

The lodge rugby team (exept from me) went for a match against the Kuching Rugby Club's Junior team. The final score? 24-20 to KRFC. Anyway, Good match guys, all the more hope for the future matches.

Pictures on www.lodgerugby.blogspot.com, go check it out!

After that, I went to TMC to teach Sam drums. She ended up being able to do two simple beats. I was impressed. haha.

Then we had youth. I played drums. Will be playing again next week. Can't wait.

iMMeNse

Belated Halloween..

2008-11-03T17:55:00.003+08:00

A spooky belated halloween to you all!
Sorry for the late celebration.

Unfortunately, being in Malaysia, I missed all the fun of the time. Oh well, there's always next year. Till I'm dead. Muhahahaha.

Lame joke I know. Hehe..

iMMeNse

Updates..

2008-10-28T22:18:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone..
Well exams are near and this week has been a very mixed week.
Starting off, I've recently had some pains in the upper abdomen area. Went to the doctors yesterday, and am now having an ultrasound scan on thursday to check whether I have stones in my gall bladder.. go figure?
Today had a fun time playing with a rubix cube with some of the kids when I was taking a break from studying. Hehe..
Played rugby as usual today and made a try in our game of touch rugby. Competition at Song Kheng Hai Field in the morning of Saturday if anyone wants to come support. I'll be there. 10am i think.

Thats about it. Laters.

iMMense

Love..

2008-10-19T23:27:00.003+08:00

If we ever had true love, love, no matter what, we can never forget..
Does it ever leave us? Do we really get over it? Or is it just there, hanging over us all the time..

And what if the one we really do love, our "soulmate", never really understands how we feel, or never even knows? What happens then?

What if we accidentally let go of our "soulmate"? Do we ever get them back? Do we ever get that second chance at love again?

Or is it all just a dream? Is there no such thing as true love or love at first sight? Or even love for that matter?

Love.. beautiful or just a dream?

iMMense

P.S all rhetorical questions I keep asking myself..

Dad's birthday..

2008-10-19T21:25:00.002+08:00

Hey..
me again..
Dad's birthday today.
Sunday school was good, fun.
Then went out for dinner with mum and dad.
Went to petanak steak house, had steak.
Amazing!
It was lovely. Something to definitely live for.

Funny how people say, something to die for,
if you say live for, it makes things so much more optimistic.

Busy weeks, with exams coming.

iMMense

quick update

2008-10-03T01:46:00.002+08:00

Been visiting the past two days, to almost all of the rugby members of

KRFC rugby club. So, a thanks to Noel for driving and thanks to the rest for inviting us.

Secondly, to new beginnings. It is of course a new year, so in which case,

somehow must mean, a new beginning.

Possibly training and bible study tomorrow.

Will be playing drums for TMC this saturday, still don have the song list btw..

Anyway, thats about it.

iMMense

Selamat Hari Raya..

2008-10-03T01:36:00.004+08:00

Let me dedicate a post to say..

BELATED..

to all those celebrating out there..

:D

iMMense

Short posts..

2008-09-27T00:24:00.002+08:00

I think I'm gonna start writing more often but not so lengthy. Some people said too long.. hehe.
I'm still tryna change my layout to something nicer, but it takes forever and I'm kinda lazy to do.
Today was fun. Mainly just had a laugh with friends and learnt how to tie a tie, thanks to Daniel Lee! hehe..

Tomorrow going for breakfast with some people and then maybe rugby and youth. Should be fun.

Laters,
iMMense iNteNsity.

P.S If any of you have spare time on your hands and would be kind enough to help me with my layout please leave a message in my chat box. Thanks.

Kids are cute!

2008-09-19T21:24:00.005+08:00

Kids are cute. Especially the ones that suddenly chatter on to you out of the blue, on any topic that comes to their mind. It's so funny. There was a kid today to came and had a chat with me. Cute yet funny, telling me all about his future, his marks, his family.. haha.. he was only Year 2. lol.

One other thing. Our school is infested with Killer bees. Some german mixed with a local breed. As big as your little finger. Apparently, the sting can kill if not treated within hours. Wow. Yet, no one believed the girl who actually did see it and got worried. A primary kid almost died because of it. Thanks be to God, that the kid did not die and is on his/her way back to full health. :D

School. A bday party. A seminar. Praise and Worship practise and playing drums for TMC tomorrow. Sounds good good. Can't wait!

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Spur of the moment..

2008-09-19T21:24:00.002+08:00

I got bored of my old template, so I changed it. Lazy to go make my own, so I used the classic ones that this website gives. This one looks nice. :D

Today has been up and down..
Usual friday school, had fun in maths learning new drum beats and playing around with Koko Dan..hehe. Then in English got pretty darn annoyed at Marc.

Just for your info, Marc scored higher than me for our first paper. Which is very annoying considering that was one of the few subjects I can actually beat him in.
So yeah. I still got a 43/50, yet, he scored a 47/50. Oh well.. life hands you sh*t sometimes.

Anyway, then today when we were marking each other's work, he had a contradictory view on mine. I had a disagreement with him about it, which led me to having to get a dictionary to find the meaning of the word, exquisite. I used it to describe ancient buildings, which it can be. (not the best choice of words but it was a quick 5min essay so, never my best work.

The only thing was, some people took the piss and that only annoyed me further.

I eventually calmed down during P.E. as I went for a jog to the park outside Lodge National, two rounds around the park and then jogged back, with the one and only Barry Song. At least it wasnt as boring as if I went on my own. Then after that I repeated the whole journey with a few members of the rugby team.

Total jogging distance : 5.6km/ 5600m !!

I can honestly say I'm quite satisfied with that, considering I have not trained for a week.

Signing off now, will put another one of my psychological posts soon.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

The Best Day..

2008-09-13T22:44:00.005+08:00

My oh my, I haven't had such a great day in such a long time.
Yes, its been a truly wonderful day. It started off, funnily enough, with me waking up not long after 5am, (after actually getting enough sleep) and worrying that I was late. What was I late for? The ISCF Inter-School Telematch held at SMK. ST. Thomas.

Well, I got there by 7.30. My friends and I had signed up for it. We got into our teams and I was in Blue.

Go, Blue team, Go, Blue Team, GO!

The other teams were Green, Red, Black (games team), Purple and Orange. I was assistant leader(and loved every minute of it!)

We went into the hall and were introduced by school. When it came to Lodge, I knew I was going to be the only one standing. Embarassing right? Well, I just went through with it. I stood up, everyone clapped, like all the other schools. After games, we had a break and lunch.

I got to know alot of people. Some better, some for the first time.
It was good fun.

By the end of all the games;

1. Alphabet things.
2. Disadvantaged maze.
3.Sticky balloons.
4.Banana pickup.
5.Memorizing Bible Verse
6.Clue maze.
7. Water balloon catching game.

we all were tired. The points were totaled and it turned out to be, that we got 2nd place!!

I was ecstatic!

Then after the telematch, I went and played a game of bowling with the one and only, pro drummer, David Andrew. lol. He scored 140. wow. lol.

Then went back and had lunch at McD. Came home and relaxed for about half hour, then showered and got ready for Youth at TMC. At youth, had a load of fun and then had bible study. That went well too, as me and my good mate were discussing a lot of the controversy of religion.

Then at the end, played the drums for a short time. Got a few *wow!*(s) and *youre good!*
and got called *pro* so, nice la. Ego boosting, but not over the top, just complimenting.
I was asked to play drums for TMC, next week so that should be fun too!

Came home and started typing. Today has been truly one great day!

Praise God!

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

The Official Opening..

2008-09-09T22:38:00.002+08:00

Hello once again to all my wonderful readers!

This is the official opening of my new alternate blog.
www.initiallytalented.blogspot.com

Here, I will be posting my new poems and songs from my confusing 16 year old teenage mind.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Selamat Hari Merdeka

2008-08-31T00:22:00.002+08:00

Hey readers.
Selamat hari merdeka!
The day we celebrate Malaysia's independence from British Ruling. Funny how I was born in the place that this country(Malaysia) gained independence from.

Negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku,
Rakyat hidup,
Bersatu dan maju,
Rahmat bah'gia, Tuhan kurniakan,
Raja kita, selamat bertakhta

Merdeka!
Merdeka!
Merdeka!

Now, no one can say I'm not patriotic. xD.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity.

wakeup.rugby.tmc.home.

2008-08-30T23:58:00.002+08:00

Well, im physically weak and havent had the best of days today.
I woke up, around twelve (first at about 8.15am, then 10 something am, then 12..) then studied and watched tv while having lunch, then at 4 went for Rugby.
Rugby was torturous yet, very fun.
It started off with just a warm up and stretching. Then went on to abit of passing and dividing teams.
-I will use technical terms and explain them later.
We were playing 15s.I played as prop/foward. The side of a scrum. It was really painful at first as the head-to-head illegal contact was really painful. So I switched to the other side of the scrum after almost having a minor concussion from being on the right side of the scrum and having my head hit again, and again.
One time, during the scrum, I was literally lifted into the air, when in prop position, and had both sides of me, crushed by the two guys and others who were inside the 3-lined scrum.
I could not breathe. I felt like I was going to die (and Im not just being a drama queen here!)
Imagine, being in a room the size of your body in a rectangular shape, and the walls pushing hard at your sides, while youre lifted up in mid air, when in prop position. It's horrible.
Anyway, our team one, which was fun. I made some good tackles.

Then I went to TMC for Youth. At TMC, I had loads of fun. Playing games and stuff.
Then came home and watched The Wild on Disney Channel. (hey! everyone is a kid deep down inside) which was cute and funny with all the animals and comedy.

Then went to my room, and here I am telling you all about my scary, fun, enjoyable day.

Rugby Terms-
15s - 15 people in one team, played for a longer duration than 7s. A version of British Rugby.
prop/foward - A position in rugby, similar to a striker in football. In the front row of a formation.
scrum - A way of getting the ball on your side, by force.
head-to-head illegal contact - (kind of self-explanatory) where you bash the opponents head with your head in a scrum.
prop position - (in a scrum) this is where you have to bend your back and crouch (as if going to the toilet) with your butt out. holding tight to your team-mates clothing.
3-lined-scrum - A scrum with the formation 3-2-1 sometimes more people are involved. Only used in 15s.
Rugby - A sport which turns gentlemen into madmen for the duration of the game.

If you want to know more, please go to:
http://lodgerugby.blogspot.com

Thanks for reading,
iMMense iNteNsity.

About time..

2008-08-28T23:30:00.003+08:00

Tagged by Delia..

Instructions:
People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.Tag 5 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by.
Continue this game by sending it to other people

Questions:

1.If your lover betrayed you, what would your reactions be ?

*Hurt.. upset.. (sadly, forgiving - I would probably still give the girl another chance)

If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

*Me to have a good impact on my new life.. or a new girlfriend :D

Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now?

*It's OK. Not great. Working on it though.

Are you confused of what lies ahead of you?

*Well, yeah. I have some sort of idea though.

What's your ideal lover like?

*Sweet, kind, cute, loves me, great personality and loves to do coupley stuff..hehe

Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

*Probably being loved, cause for me, it's one of the best feelings in the world.

What is the one thing that pisses you off about the opposite sex?

*When they go on about how cute other boys are, when I'm right beside them. Makes me envyous and unworthy :D (am I not good enough?)

How far will you go for the one you love the most?

*If she really was the one I loved the most, almost anything.

Is there anything that makes you happy these days?

*Yeah, rugby, bowling, having a laugh with friends..

What do you think of Delia? (the person who tagged you)

*A sweet looking girl with a heart for God!

I tag...

1. Daniel Shin (koko)
2. Melissa Tan
3. Nicky Evelyn
4. Samuel Chien
5. Sharon Sukarti

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Emotions..

2008-08-22T10:22:00.003+08:00

Mistakes made.
Wrong things said.
Why, the one time we put our trust in - those who deem us as strong- the ones we trust, the ones we help, let us down?
Obviously we feel hurt, depressed, emotional wrecks and can even push us as far as re-contemplating suicide? Giving up our own life?
But living with the thought that however much we help, they wont even lift a finger for us?

But then were in such a bad mood, that we take it out on the one or few people that actually tried to help and honestly care. Is it time to re-think why we should care about others?

All that we enslave throughout our lives, does it just go to waste when not appreciated?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Times of troubles, downfalls, lost hope..
We all go through them, and yes, there are always people who care. We have to remember though, that we should be able to rely on others and have other people relying on us. No one person can hold the whole world on their shoulders.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The funny side of suicide.
Everyone says its so easy to do. Yet, they forget that they can never do it alone.
Think about it. The only reason why anyone would commit suicide would be because of the fault of someone else. Think about the following example:

The lawyer who wanted to commit suicide for bankruptcy. When that would not be the real case, he/she could have lost one case, in which all his money was lost-- in which was the fault of another person as well as himself. As the money has to have gone somewhere...

------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading,
I really am glad I have friends and I treasure and love them dearly. They are my brothers and sisters, not always genetically.

Dont have friends, be a friend.

Take care,
iMMense

Healer..

2008-08-22T09:59:00.005+08:00

This blog entry was named Healer, after the well-known song by Hillsong, re-recorded by Planetshakers, which was in fact written by a guy who made a huge mistake, like we all do.
To read the story, the link will be put below.

The song is about trust, for both non-christians and christians alike, this applies in the same manner.

For non-christians:
Think not about Jesus as the person he may be referring to in the song. But let it be every single heart out there, that is willing to help you, and guide you. Whether it be a supernatural force, or God himself, or just a friend.

For christians: Jesus, is always there and fulfills everything for us, if only we ask. Not always at the time that we want. We still fall back from God, all of us have downfalls. We pray and sometimes, if not all the time, our prayers, we may think, have not been answered. Rethink though, the power of God, whom can send angels to us, like our friends, who help us out in that time of need, speak to us, advise us and of all, love us and care about us. This, my friends is true love.

Both of these can be related to anyone in the world. If you just think.

Link: http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=618463&rss=yes

Take care,
iMMense

Sunrise during exams..

2008-08-21T21:10:00.017+08:00

Ok, these were taken a long time ago, when we had our second-term exams. I forgot to upload them, even though I especially woke up at 6am, all the days I had exams, to catch the morning sunrise at school. :D enjoy! (talk about determination!)

Thursday, 3rd July..

Friday, 4th July..

Monday, 7th July...

Tuesday, 8th July..

Wednesday, 9th July..

Thursday, 10th July..

Friday, 11th July..

nice pics right?

Take care,

iMMense

Heys.

2008-08-21T20:40:00.002+08:00

Hey hey hey..
Well, It's been a fairly long time since I wrote anything on here, as of late.
If I said, been busy, as my excuse, it would be a lie. Cause the truth is, I couldn't be bothered. Although nowadays I should be studying like crazy - like everyone else. I just am not that interested in my studies now its the Holidays. I mean -come on- it's the holidays.. a time for relaxation and rest. Yet me, like several others, have had the amazing joy (sarcasm here) of being stressed with studying and other things. Not as stressed as some, but still stressed all the same.

Here's what I've been upto.
Studying,
Selling fruit for pre-parish sale (st.Thomas Cathedral Sunday School) for 6 hours every sunday,
Looking after kids,
Taking care of kids,
Rehearsals for skit,
Writing,
finishing coursework and homework,
trying to get some (undisclosed yet not illegal-well i dont think so anyway) things done.

So, not that much I guess.

Take Care,
iMMense

Wishlist.

2008-08-06T01:41:00.002+08:00

My wishlist.
(all the presents I'd like, and would be very happy if i got)

1. A new girlfriend :D
2. Sentimental gifts
3. A book on how to play the harmonica
4. A video camera
5. One of the latest cameras out.
6. A motorbike/scooter (driving-with license)
7. Nice hats, clothing, jewellry
8. Anything nice/cool.

Anything that I can use or treasure. NOT FOOD.

Obtainable for future:
9.My life to have a good impact on everyone around me.
10.My dreams to come true.
11.Fame and fortune.
12.Great results in trials and finals.
13.Great future
14.Great career
15. Great life.

Final most special wish, no. 16:
Can't say for risk of it not coming true. :D

Thanks ladies and gentlemen.
You Rock!

iMMense iNteNsity

My Sweet Sixteen

2008-08-06T01:32:00.002+08:00

One cool birthday.
It went well.

It started off with the usual happy birthday from the class and friends.
Then towards the end of the day, I was slightly disappointed that I wasn't covered in water, egg and coke like the usual class tradition.

I had a special "gift" from the rugby team.
They all lined up. Gabriel being behind me, with me not knowing what was going on. His arms suddenly were linked through my arms in a half-nelson, sort of. Then almost the whole rugby team ran and took me down. Hahaha.. Good old fun. Noel looked like an old man in his formal shirt and trousers. Lol.

Then went out with the Indons, James, Jae Hyun and Andrew for dinner. Got a few nice presents. Thanks guys.

Then went to "Atmosphera" with James, to have a drink and relax.

Now, writing this blog. :D

My actual birthday is at 10.30pm GMT on the 5th August. Which means 5.30am on the 6th August - Malaysia. haha.

Take care,
Good night,
Sweet dreams,

iMMense iNteNsity

Untitled.

2008-07-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

Here's another one of my lesson-type blog entries that I write every now and then.

Life sucks, doesn't it? I mean, everything we do, everything we attempt, what is it all for?
We all die sooner or later anyway.. Especially when the people we try hard to impress, the people we do all we do for, dont even acknowledge how much blood, sweat and tears we actually put into what we do for them.

I can honestly and strangely say, I enjoy being depressed. Now, however weird that sounds bear with me. I mean, when I'm depressed or in one of my indescribable moods I actually think differently. Unlike a psychofreniak which actually has a split personality, I can actually think better when I'm down in the dumps or feeling slightly grim.

It frees me.

When you're alone, you feel lonely.
When you're with friends, you feel crowded.
When you're with your parents, you feel style-cramped.
When you're with the one person you dream about being with, it's either all it's meant to be, or you suddenly realise that they aren't so great after all.

Lately I've been feeling the last one.
Unfortunately, all the girls I could possibly go out with.. are busy.
I always seem to pick the busy ones.

There is this one special girl, somewhere.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Think about this. A person doesn't need to be perfect to be exactly what you're looking for.

-Meaning:
The one person who you really need (to talk to, to love, to care, to show they're there for you) Isnt perfect. They also screw up, make their own faults and do wrong in their own lives too. But that doesnt mean that they're not exactly who you need in your life, right this moment.

There may be more effect in the sentence above, the more times you read it.

Lastly, I just wanna say. When someone reaches out a hand, take it. Take the chance of a new experience, a new journey. You never know if it could be the one leading you to hapiness, if you dont try. :)

Take care.
-iMMense iNteNsity

29th July, 2008

2008-07-29T22:15:00.003+08:00

I honestly dont know what to say. Even though this will probably turn into a 500+ word blog. Be prepared. Im in my indescribable state.

Today started fine. I went to school, sat through my lessons, studied. Got angry at my group in English class for not paying attention to what I was gonna say. Honestly, I really do feel like they rely on me alot.

Anyhow, played my favourite sport, Rugby. Managed to tackle everyone who tried to dodge me at least once. Attempted at teaching Angelo-my new foward- how to be a brick wall. Didnt go so well. He got off with a twisted ankle.
But all in all I actually had fun today.

School activities come to an end and I find that the house my mentor has rented from a landlord for students to stay in, is in the most bad condition it could ever be in. So he will be in debt for a long while. Unfortunately.

That has been my day.

Been a long time..

2008-07-18T02:19:00.002+08:00

Well, it has well and truly been a long time since I blogged.. Something happened to my blog just before I started my term exams. Not sure what but I started editing it after that and it kept going wrong, so I went back to old formats. Oh well...

Anyway, exams have now come and gone. That will probably be a seperate topic for tomorrow. Just wanna say a quick word now before off to bed.

Take care and have a wonderful sleep, you lovely readers,
iMMense iNteNsity.

P.S no, im not gay.

Hit By A Car...

2008-07-03T20:26:00.000+08:00

Dearest Readers,

Today, 2nd June, 2008. I was hit by a white Proton Kancil. For those of you who aren't Malaysian, imagine a Mini Cooper size car.

Yes, well, I was crossing the road using the traffic lights (which I don't usually do) and it was pouring down with rain.

I saw the 20 second countdown on the traffic light and ran across. Some crazy driver in the white car tried to run the lights. It was a red light and he/she went straight through it. As I was running across, it hit me on the right side of the bonnet and I sort of rolled over onto the side of the car near the window.I fell to the floor and the car stopped momentarily. The next moment I remember struggling to get up with injured hands and writsts.

Other weird things that happened as well, today.
i) No one saw the accident.
ii)No one stopped apart from the car itself.

The only good part of my day, was meeting my friends from years ago.
Two girls that are still as pretty as when I first knew them. Both in health care now which is cool.

How ironic?
The one time I actually use the traffic lights instead of J-walking, I get run over.
Then when I get run over, I meet my friends in medical school.

Anyway, hands and wrists are healing slowly.

Thanks for caring, my best friends.

Take care one and all,
iMMense iNteNsity

Goodbyes..

2008-06-28T23:35:00.000+08:00

Sorry readers, this is kinda a day late, but anyway. Here it is! Enjoy!

Goodbyes are easy to come by, hard to say and sad when you know you have to let go of the other person. There is a certain sense of loneliness when someone leaves and you have to say goodbye.

Whether it be from the life of a person you know that has just been taken, or from seeing someone off at the airport, it still is often a hard thing to do.

People often also, think that goodbyes are sad because they symbolise endings. They forget the fact that:

Every ending is a new beginning.
A chance for greatness.
A chance for Change.

It helps you move on. Discover something new. Something you never even thought of while they were here. Possibly even how annoying they were. :D

Memories last. Especially good ones. Remember the person for the good times you shared instead of dwelling on the loneliness of you without them. They're gone and you have to continue with life. You can't just give up. You keep on going. Live life with the memory that you'll be with them someday. Now, say that last line again to yourself. Now, one more time.

Repeat it a few times.
Live life with the memory that you'll be with them someday.
Live life with the memory that you'll be with them someday.
Live life with the memory that you'll be with them someday.

Make their life have an impact on yours. Don't live life for them, but strive yourself to be like the good parts of them.

They will always be in your heart.

I know the people I said goodbye to, are in mine.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Best friend?

2008-06-22T00:28:00.000+08:00

Hey readers!

Well, I do apologise for not updating that often.
I do try but then, things get in the way.

Emo. That is the common word that describes my blog, my life, my reality.
I like it that way. Ive given up trying to say it's not cos, most likely in most opinions, it is.

Life changed recently as I gave up on one of the girls in my life. Things just didn't work out.
But then, an after result of that was the almost definite loss of a great friend.
She always helped me out of situations where I almost took my own life. I helped her out of situations like that as well. It scares me to think, how fragile life really is. She told me she has lost trust in me. Well her exact words were, "there's a reason girls tend to loose trust in a guy tat had a few too many girls." -exact words taken from her sms.

Well, yeah. I've had quite a few relationships over the years.. but that doesnt mean I'm not trustworthy. I just haven't found the right girl yet.

Words of advice..
By waiting for the right person to come, you loose those possibilities of finding your true love.
By putting yourself out there, at least you'll get to know a few great people in the process. If you don't end up with a relationship, you could always find another best friend.
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Now, onto my blog topic.
Here's a few things about best friends, that I think most people need to read before they can honestly say, "I'm YOUR best friend."

Best friends are those who offer you their hand, and touch your heart.
Best friends are those that would stand next to you, even when you are embarrassing them to no end.
Best friends are those who help you out of tight situations.
Best friends are those who tell you, you look crap and tell it to you straight.
Best friends are those who take the blame, so you don't have to.

Here's one of my favourite poems, written by someone whom I don't know the name.

Are we friends or are we not? You told me once, but I forgot. Tell me now, and tell me the truth, So I can say, I'm here for you. Of all the friends, I've ever met, you're the one I wont forget. And if I die, before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you. I'll give the angels back their wings and risk the loss of everything, just to prove my friendship is true. To have a friend like YOU.

Now here's the lyrics to my newest song, entitled
My Best Friend

Were you there, or did you leave me down,
All alone, head in the ground,
Surrounded by my troubled times,
Left in sorrow, misunderstood.

You said that you would always be there,
But then I looked over and you didn't care.
I let you into my heart, I said,
But you tore it apart instead.

Now comes the time, I wish I knew,
How we could have been best friends so true,
Friendship that stood still and grew,
And you would never leave me.

Hope you all liked it.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave NICE comments.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Depression.

2008-06-19T15:08:00.000+08:00

Will write something on the topic later. Just want to upload my video so you all may see the project I had been working on for the last 3 weeks. I think it's great, but thats just my opinion. :D

Take care all,
iMMense iNteNsity

Bit of this and that...

2008-06-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

Patch (bro) and Nikki (bro's girlfriend)

Well they came and now they have left.
I miss them alot.
It was like christmas when they came.
I recieved : One polo neck shirt from LYS, one New Look shirt, one Wild Channel hoodie, Diesel and David Beckham's Instinct aftershave/ Eau De Toillette. (sound wrong in french) but smells really nice and really expensive too.
Almost every one of those items cost more than RM100.

Other than that, it was a joy having him here and going to Damai Puri with him and actually spending time with my brother. I hardly see him all year as his job is very demanding. So all in all, I'm really glad he came.

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Life hasn't been going so great as of late. Exams coming up and teachers causing us to be more stressed, then there is the problems of daily life to deal with. Not to mention what our future holds.

School is boring as usual. Miss family back in England. Can't wait till November 13.

Partial Freedom!
(my goodness I didn't know how sad that sounded till just now)

Oh well. Will write more, when more interesting things come up.

Finished english and econs. Just have to study for Business test tomorrow. Sigh.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

P.S English Oral went well as usual, even though most of the tricks didn't work well. Still got an

A

though. So not too bad.

Cuts and Bruises.. or worse.

2008-06-07T03:28:00.000+08:00

Well as most know, I have joined the school rugby club. Over the two-week break we have just come to the end of, we have had intensive training by Kuching Rugby Club. The training has been fun, yet at the same time tiring.

It is a rough sport, rugby, even though it is so much fun, having bruises, stud marks (from football shoes - yes, we use them for Rugby) cuts, scrapes and bruised bones isn't much fun.

This was after our 14 minute game. 7 in one team, 2 x 7 mins per game. name:sevens.
Well yeah, the game itself was very fun. But all things come with a cost.

My cost was scraped ankles from other players' studs and from my trainers rubbing, a bruise with a stud mark and a big cut across my chest from a successful yet badly done tackle as the guy ended up stepping and scraping his boots on my chest, and a bruised leg bone.

It's all good practise though and all for the love of the game.

Next blog: Patrick (brother's birthday)
Thanks for reading about me moaning :D
You readers rock!

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Belated Blogging...

2008-06-07T03:07:00.000+08:00

Well it has been a while since I last wrote on my blog so I thought I might as well write a few as I:
I) Have the time
II) Am bored
III) Haven't wrote for ages

So, yeah..

Enjoy!
iMMense iNteNsity

Struggles

2008-05-27T19:51:00.000+08:00

We all go through them.
Whether it be because of family issues (divorce, child birth, no understanding, money issues, siblings not talking to each other), life issues (no food/water/shelter, money issues), student life (exams, studying), relationship issues (boy/girl friend, jealousy, lack of trust, lack of emotion, lack of care) OR anything else I may have missed, they all hurt.
Some worse than others.

Everyone has a different case. We all need to understand that, to then go on to think, "Is my life worse than someone else's life?" Then you also need to account for personal perception of how bad your own life is compared to being in another person's shoes.

Things always seem worse one way, than the other.

For example: I am not an african mother (not being racist but this is a country of which faces a lot of poverty) who has to look after and find food for 6 starving children, but my case is this:
I am a teenage american boy whom has food, drink, shelter, money, BUT has just broken up with my girlfriend, my parents are getting divorced and my dad is sleeping with one of my high school teachers.

Now, which one would you view as being worse? (this being a rhetorical question - one that doesnt require an answer) Think about this. Your life probably isn't as bad as either scenario before but you may still find yourself depressed, confused or angry with your "bad" life.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let me go back to the beginning and explain further into why I am writing all this.
As you may well know (or not know for that matter) that I, like every other human on earth, am going through struggles of my life.

What am I to do?

One of my best friends is refusing to hug me (for a reason) and it was because of her hugs that made me feel happy inside whenever I was sad or upset. I have a feeling she doesn't feel as close to me as before as well. I guess that's my fault, my choice and my problem. I'll miss her alot though.

The She that I sometimes talk about in my blog also hasn't said much to me (talked, called, sms-ed) in the past few days as she has been busy. Well I understand that's her life and it's also making me miss her even more.

On top of that I have lots of other things buzzing through my mind. If they are even there, which I'm not even sure they are.

A good friend said to me, "You look like you're not content with what you have?"
Then I told her something along the lines of, "I'm content, but even if I wasn't, what would I be content with?"

To conclude I just want to say,

Take life how it comes.
The choices you make, form the future you create.

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Student Life.

2008-05-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

The way to talk about life, as a student in Lodge International School, consists of only one word,
AVERAGE.
Honestly, this past week, other than being completely stuffy and hot from the increase in temperature, this week has been very average.

Hopefully will be more interesting in the holidays, should be able to go out with the friends that are not going outside Kuching. As far as I know, I'm stuck in Kuching for the moment.

Life will be more interesting as my brother, Patrick, will be coming over to Kuching from my distant hometown in Britain, for a nice holiday with his girlfriend, Nikki.
This will be fun as I'll be able to do more stuff with him, Nikki and my sister(who payed to come over here and look after Monkeys) once they all come back to here.

There will be a celebration for Patrick's birthday on June 4th so still looking for suggestions on what to give such a great brother as he. Well, until he annoys me again and we fight as brothers do. But thats the male code anyway. Be better than the rest. No, I dont really believe it, but some of it does seem to make sense. In a way.

Better get off to sleep now,

Take care once again,
iMMense iNteNsity.

Kampung Trip

2008-05-22T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hey readers,

Wow, was this an absolutely amazing trip or what?
Words cannot explain how much of a great trip this was.
It was tiring, yes, but it was more than worth it.

We started off, driving early in the morning to a place called Padawan, which is 10 miles from the town centre. After breakfast, we drove again to the parking stop of our journey, Bengoh, before our long walk/trek. The first kampung we reached was called Bojong.

On the way to Bojong we had a minor delay, where we had to either cross the river via rocks or across a sturdy but not very safe log, above the water. A few people fell into the water and ended up with souveneirs (bruises) from their failed attempts.

Bojong took us about 2 to 3 hours to reach. The kids at this kampung seemed very shy, but everyone was very friendly. Smiles and thankyou(s) hardly ever left our lips before we were smiling or saying thankyou again. Its such a simple word, but can mean so much. :D
I was shocked to find a chicken in a basket in front of the toilet and alot more running around,
talk about a real Shock!

The porters carried our biggest and heaviest bags, with no complaining. This happened throughout all the four kampungs that we went to. God bless them all.

After doing crafts and songs at Bojong, we moved on to Semban.

Semban, in my opinion, was the best kampung out of them all. The kids were active and fun and you felt you could really relate and play with them. We enjoyed getting to know a few of them personally. Especially our good friend, Peter, nicknamed Captain (as Captain of the football team, and a football state player for Sarawak as well as two other kids that were there)

Semban was different from the others because it was situated on the top of a mountain. It had the best views on the way up the mountain, which we took alot of pictures. On our journey, Mark, Mackaenzer and I were the first to reach Semban. On our journey there, it started to get dark. Luckily for all of us, I said to keep going on the same track instead of going back and seeing if we went wrong somewhere. We ended up at Semban, because we followed my instuction. I felt led by God and that made me feel ecstatic. :D

The first good thing about Semban, was that the wind was too strong for mosquitos.
Yes, I did get bitten alot, so this was a great comfort for me.
Another good thing about Semban was the hot, sweet, lipton tea that we were served with, as the first arrivals of the night. It was so perfect.

We played football with the kids at Semban, after playing games with them. Even though we were outnumbered about 30/40 to 10, it was still a shock when we lost 6-0, to them. Im just glad I managed to save Peter's penalty. Otherwise it would have been 7-0. :D

When we announced to the kids that we would be playing football against them, Peter (aka Captain) said,"Kuuchhhehh" (not sure how to spell) which I found out later to be an bidayuh word meaning, (in Malaysian English) " Walao eh!" How cute!

After staying a night at Semban, where I misplaced and found my towel, had fun with the kids and had a freezing cold shower which left me with shivers and did the hand mime performance with the rest, we went on about mid afternoon, after saying our goodbyes to our newly made friends.

Then went on, the long and tiresome journey from Semban to Rejoi. The journey down the mountain was less tiresome than going up, but less fun.
When we arrived, there was only a small group of kids, which also made it easier to interact with them. My team Merah (Red) won the games and recieved a pencil as they're present which was nice.

That afternoon we went down to the river, at the end of all the houses. There we had the most fun, laughing like crazy, playing on the bamboo rafts which were falling apart, swimming around and generally having a good old laugh and a shower for the night, in the River! (how different!)
It was truly refreshing.

We spent the following night in Rejoi, starting our journey to Sait at 7.30am. Apparently I slept well, while rolling around, like a worm. :D
We were all quite tired the next morning, especially when we had to wake up at 5.30am.
Our bags were again taken by the porters, so all we had to bring was our water.

Sait took us about another 2 hours (or less) to reach were we spent a little while, played with the kids, did crafts and they also listened to the story of Noah's Ark, while Mark and I, fell asleep on the stage. Our friends (other members of our team) disturbed me by putting staionary (pens, glue sticks, staplers...) all on top or around me, they all found that rather amusing too! I didnt mind though and just took it as a laugh as well. My fault for snoring during the story. :D

Sait to Bengoh was our final journey which took us all different times to reach. Those who went early, reached early, those who rested often, were the final few to arrive.

On the journey back to Bengoh, Mackaenzer and I went on the wrong path back along the log to get across the river and had to go back across because the rest wanted to take the easier path they found. This annoyed Mackaenzer and I, but we didnt let it ruin the rest of our journey. It did improve our balance alot though. :D

During the whole trip there were many bamboo bridges, held up by two rusty wires, which started off being very scary to cross but then we all started to loosen up and cross with ease.

One final note:
This trip was a 'once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, it was absolutely amazing. Seeing the daily lives and cultures of those you would only meet on such a wonderful trip as this was.
Im not sure I'd be able to manage it again, but I'm very glad to say I've managed it this time. :D

Thanks be to God, for He made this trip possible.

Members of the Main Team: Auntie Nancy,
Uncle Andrew,
Auntie Tracy,
Uncle Lau Kong,
Jasmine,
Fanny,
Mark,
Mackaenzer,
Edina,
Ann-Marie,
Barnaby Chiew.

Thanks to these people for keeping me going and for their continued faith, love, hope and care.

Thanks to all you readers too,

Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity

Choices, choices.

2008-05-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

Today went as any normal school day. Lessons until 2pm when we had to go to Lodge National to practise.

It was ok, i met a few of my old friends and caught up with a few of them too. Everyone else's items seemed to go well. Mine, UNFORTUNATELY, went horribly wrong. For some reason, to start, my band members took ages to get set up. So long until Ms. bossy boots said, or rather shouted, "Hurry Up!" Then the microphone wasnt switched on and was faulty. Then for some weird reason I started to sing out of tune and couldnt go back to the normal tune until the very end. The reason probably was cause my mouth was dry and I cant sing well when that happens.

Then after our item, which was early on, we had to wait there until 6pm, which was like anohter 3and a half hours. Watching other groups perform, got boring after a while.

Then the extra downer. Ms. Bossy boots told Mel to tell me that we were cut from teachers day. Thank God Im still performing with class mates. It just felt unfair. You screw up once and she practically murders you for it.

my good FRIENDS comforted me, and said it wasnt bad, their HONEST opinions.

Then I go for the second night of the briefing for my kampung trip with the sunday school, and then I get a call from Dan saying he doesnt want to play drums. Not only that, but the stupid ***** (my Sunday school leader) shouts at me for talking on the phone WHEN WERE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING. I mean COME ON. SHEESH!

That really annoyed me. Another thing that annoys me, is that when you need someone, they say they'll help you, so you RELY on them to help and then all of a sudden they'll say they cant. FOR STUPID reasons. Seems I have had a lot of that lately. Grr.

I mean, if you're going to help, then friggin' (please excuse my language and *s) HELP. Dont just back out at the last minute saying, I dont feel this is right, or I'm busy at that time or other pathetic reasons.

So, yeah, I havent been having a great day today.
Sigh. I didnt enjoy today to say the least, it's just been one thing after another. Everyone is asking me to stop being so busy and to cut things out, then seem to think that the thing they need me for, is what my whole life is about. As if I'm supposed to drop everything for them. HELLO, YOUR NOT GOD!

Well, thats been me, fustrated and depressed and uncontrolled (at times) me.

Thanks for listening to my seemingly pathetic day. Trust me, my life will get better and you'll be hearing about it soon.

So will yours, if you feel you're in the same position as me.

Take care one and all,
iMMense iNteNsity

Best Friends

2008-05-13T23:18:00.000+08:00

This is the second topic-style blog entry with advice. Please take note and try to remember.

Aren't they just Great and I'm not being sarcastic now. I mean first they know exactly when to say what you want to hear, to make you feel happy.
When youre down, they help you up again.

Bible verse: For when one falls, lest the other helps him up, but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.

Now, how would that feel like? Bad I'm sure. You must treat your friends with respect, and in respect, they should treat you the same way.

Friends dont ask you to change cause it benefits them, friends change so it benefits you.
They are not judgemental ( well good ones arent) unless they feel they need to be, to help you out of a Situation.

Friends risk their lives for you in many ways, I just hope all of you feel you do the same.
-
Friends can be so close, that you reguard them as your own family. Your own BLOOD relation.

Friendship isnt about what the other person can give you. Its about what you can give them. What you can do in their seemingly meaningless life, to create that spark of life in them once again.

Now, to do that, you have to have the magical powers of:
-listening to them
-giving advice to them
-making them laugh
-hugging them (comfort if needed)
-making them feel 'part of the group'
-making them feel 'needed' (but not in an overbearing way- that would come under using them for what you can get --read above)
-healing their broken hearts
MOST IMPORTANT: Helping them continue another day in their life.

Ok, so most of us have had that crazy dramatic thought of "the world would be better off without me" -- sound familiar?
Maybe not that exact phrase but similarly on those lines. Well those are the times when your friends are your life savers. Literally.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
True Story:
There was a guy, who's life seemed to be going downhill because his, at that time, girl friend wanted to leave him. He wouldnt let her and she was falling short of reasons to stay with him. He was becoming desperate. He felt he couldnt live without her, couldnt see another day. Without realising that every day that passed was another day closer to that unfortunate end he had to face.

--

They both joined an event called the KGTM. It was held at a school hall. The school hall was situated on the first floor, with a balcony high enough for someone to jump down, but the person would have to have some guts to do it. It was about a 10m drop. Enough to kill a person if he jumped down head-first on to the gravel below. He thought about it. Came very close to doing it. He said to his best friend, he could no longer live if she wasnt with him.

Just before he attempted the jump, he thought through alot. He had doubts running through his mind. His friend begged him to forget the idea of it. She done what she could, showed him that by doing this, it wouldnt get her back. It would also have ruined the lives of all his friends.

Without her (one of his best friends till this day), He would have killed himself, over something so small, so little, so meaningless. His broken heart to this day has healed, thanks to someone special of his.

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His life is in the hands of his friend, for if it were not for her, He would not be alive and well today.

Thanks one and all for reading and for your comments,
They are most welcome.

iMMense iNteNsity

iLL Weekend.

2008-05-11T21:21:00.000+08:00

How great.

Imagine this. You have a whole weekend ahead of you.
Then *boom* (boom only for special effects)
you fall sick on the friday, have to stay in bed all of that evening,
then the following day youre feeling useless and still in bed.
Sunday you manage to eat a few crackers and are still left with stomach cramps lasting for a minute at a time, happening every few minutes. Man, do they suck!

So that was my FANTASTIC weekend.
*note: sarcasm.

Tomorrow I'm stuck with a BM GCSE writing paper, while having stomach cramps.
Unless by some miracle of God, they go away throughout tonight. If they do, PRAISE GOD TILL KINGDOM COME. If not, my faith will not fall, for I know He is there through my hardest times.
And boy, do I need Him now more than ever.

Thanks for those who have prayed for me. Feeling very thankful now.
Without my christian brothers and sisters, holding me up in faith, and having the belief that God is there beside me, around me, inside me and just being there for me, I dont know what I'd do.

Sometimes I feel is must be scary for atheists. Having to rely on only themselves. God have mercy on those who havent come back to you, yet.

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Yes, this may be a very christian-like blog today. For that is what I am. A christian.
It will never change as long as my faith in Him is strong. Sorry to those who dont like this because either you dont understand or are offended by what I say, but this is a blog free for you to read AT YOUR OWN DISGRESSION. If you feel you no longer want to be a reader then I wish you all the best.

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Thanks to God, all readers, friends, family and everyone I may have missed out. That includes YOU.

Take care one and all,

iMMense iNteNsity

Life sucks.

2008-05-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

I'm almost certain, today has been the worse day in my
life.
To start off, my friend Samuel came in for half an
hour to say goodbye before he left for Sibu.(short
airplane trip) to go to his grandfathers and my
relatives funeral. That started off my bad day.The
thought of someone I dont know, a relative, passing
away.

Then as school drew on I still had the pains of
yesterday's rugby army-style training. Then on came
the fever and I was almost dead. I could hardly get
up and walk around.
Then she hardly talked to me all day. I felt
terrible. Im starting to think she doesnt care at
all. You know.. its weird. Yesterday I felt like I
was ruining someone's life by being in it and now I
feel like hardly anyone cares about me.
Good news? I wrote and completed my third song,
entitled, "The four seasons" while being *emo* as
malaysians call it. British would call it
depression.
To top it all off, My mum, dad and sis lis were 40
minutes late collecting me from school. I was the
last one there and the caretakers were asking me, "
your car not yet come?" in Bahasa Melayu. I told
them, "I think they forgot me" replied in BM.
I have my BM GCSE on this Monday and Im worried I
wont know the vocab! SO another thing to worry
about!

:D.
Take care,
iMMense iNteNsity.

A thought on Life.

2008-05-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

Life can throw troubles at you, even during the happiest times. One moment you can feel over the moon and the next, your feeling deep depression because of something unexpected. Or even sometimes something expected.

Why does life do this?
Cos Life is just like that. It gives you sudden ups and downs that you can never get used to, nor probably want to.

The only thing you have to remember is to keep going. No matter what.

A favourite saying I heard recently,
Don't forget to breathe.

Don't let everything pile up on you until you fall under stress. Think about what you can do to change the things you can. Act when you should. Love as much as possible, and do whatever you can to stay happy.

Depression, downfall and burnouts help no one.

No matter how stressed I am, do not feel like you are giving me a burden if you need help from me. Let me know. Come to me, cos I can only help when I know what the problem is and when there is something wrong.

Take care one and all,
iMMense iNteNsity.

Life. Thursday 8th May, 2008

2008-05-08T22:49:00.000+08:00

Blogging while being depressed. Never done this before. Well, here goes.

Walk with me,
Talk with me,
Think about me,
You do what you can to live beside me.

Do you ever get the feeling your ruining a life around you? I have just finished a short phone conversation with one of my best friends. At first I just sent a message saying sigh. Then she kept asking what was wrong. I just said nevermind, dont worry about me. I ended up calling her after she miss called me. We had a short conversation. She sounded like she had been crying. I feel like crying now too. It didnt really end well. I told her to concentrate on her studies rather than my problems, as her studies are more important in her life than me. I think that made it worse.

A friend called me earlier. He told me his granfather on his father's side had just fallen on the way to getting on the plane to Sibu. He passed away mere minutes ago before he made the call to me. The sad thing is, weve just worked out that me and him could be distant relatives. Great. So that means a far relative of mine has just passed away. That makes life so much better.

Oh well, thats about enough moaning for today. May write a quick post again before I go to sleep.

take care,

iMMense iNteNsity

Fun. Birthday Zowie.

2008-05-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today was good fun as the day grew on. As I reached school, I was feeling rather emo until Dan starting mucking around in Maths class.:D. After that the day was like any usual Wednesday. School, Lessons, Lunch, then at Econs we just had an average teaching on 'absolute and comparitive advantage in terms of goods produced by countries' by Mr. Lim, in Economics. HOW INTERESTING. He makes the lesson fun though. :D (I'm no nerd, to say im not smart would be an understatement.- or am I just being Humble :S)
After that I had a great time, from spending quality time with friends, to just plain fun.
Bowling was a bit of a down-er though. I really sucked. I mean I usually get like at least a strike a game, and my score points are usually about 100, and so getting scores like 60 was no fun. :'(
After that I had to rush back, change, and then on to Zowie's Surprise Party.She was scared and suprised (apparently) and enjoyed the party! We ate, and sang, and played Twister.
Will upload a few pics later :D
Anyway, that was about all for today. Life isnt treating me too badly at the moment... I'm enjoying it so far.

iMMense iNteNsity

Love.

2008-05-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

Relationships.
Relationships can bring you to extremes, emotionally.
You can go from being deep down in depression, to being emotionally happy, to feeling over the moon and filled with happiness.
Relationships is a vague topic so I'm just going to say a few things on the topic, narrowed down to Boy - Girl Relationships (BGR).

BGR can start from simple things such as a few text messages or a hug. Lucky enough for some, relationships can even start with a kiss.

Kissing is another topic I will continue on later, but for now I just want to talk about BGR in general.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a expert in relationships, but I know enough to give some advice to those who need it, or are just interested in knowing.

Relationships are hard work, no doubt there and those who are in them usually go through (in their opinion) the hardest times of their life. Relationships can bring friends closer, but also destroy the friendship that was once, something treasured.

Now, relationships, other than being hard work are amazing experiences to have. Imagine being able to share anything and everything with someone you love and care about, knowing that they feel exactly the same way you do. Love and Trust are the foundations of a Good relationship.

But what happens, when the (i)trust and (ii)love is all one-sided?
(i) When the trust is one sided, both sides feel untrusted, and tend to keep secrets from each other. This ruins relationships because when there is no trust, lies and secrets come in and take control of the relationship.

~Personal story of a good friend~
She was going great with her boyfriend, when she started getting to know guy number 2. She had no feelings more than that of good friends with guy number 2, though friends of the boyfriend, told the boyfriend otherwise. Because of the lack of trust between the couple, they broke up. Leaving both of them in tears and sadness.

(ii) When the love is one sided, there is no bond and/or connection for the relationship to place its grounds on. This sometimes leads to a non-speaking barrier between friends (or what the bond was before the connection).

If there is love to one another between friends, more than that of best friends but it is not noted by both halves then this can also cause problems between the friendship.

Also, any problems between the couple that lead to both not talking to each other or one not talking to the other should be forgotten about, because the love between you two is more important than the problem. Life's to short to care about the things that dont really matter.

Thanks for reading,
Psychologist/Councillor -in-training

Take care one and all,

iMMense iNteNsity

P.S If there is any topic you want me to expand on, I'll be happy to.
Just leave me a comment and your name. Leave name as Anonymous if you feel you do not wish to disclose who you are.

Bored.

2008-05-03T14:45:00.000+08:00

After a long blog on all that happened yesterday, today has been very boring so will make this short.

Was supposed to be going to the park with a friend of mine, but she canceled last minute cos she was too tired. Oh well, there's always next week.

Not sure what I'm doing for the rest of today, but it seems to have gone very fast.

Sis, mum and dad gone to Boulevard Shopping Complex and dunno where else, I'm stuck at home. Sigh!

Take care one and all,

iMMense iNteNsity

(www.immenseintensity.blogspot.com)

Friday...school with very few ppl. so fun! XD

2008-05-03T12:47:00.000+08:00

I got to school fairly on time ( like 5 mins early) and no one but Su Min, Dennis and James were there. I was like whoa! only 4 ppl in class today then.
The rest of our massive class had either gone to KL with the class trip or didnt feel like coming to school. It was about Rm 1000 (not including spending money) so my parents said it was too expensive, *Sigh* oh well.

Then Samantha and (my bro) Daniel Shin came so we went to class (maths).
Daniel ask me take pics of him as the only one in class, one of him sleeping and one of him studying, lol.

After that a few more ppl turned up. Teacher just taught as usual. Dan took some more pics and we just had fun, talked and did a bit of our work.
The korean guys and two of the girls were talking about US Universities. I should be going to UK after A levels. Sigh. Gonna miss...

They all suddenly laughed after James said something in Korean. I didnt understand ( I sometimes do, even though I cant speak the language, to save myself) so I asked Daniel.
He said, James joked that He had already booked a place in Harvard. Lol.

For Science we spent time with lil kids, watching the same videos i used to watch as a child.

My goodness, did that bring me back to my childhood. We always used to watch those kind of videos when I was in Class R. Oh how much I miss those days. No worries, friends with everyone, invited to everyone's birthdays. I was part of every group there was.
Anyway, those movies were about ancient times. There was this boy and girl who bought a mummified cat who tells them about ancient egypt. Its so cool.
Dan and the other seniors thought it was funny but lame though. :)

Sam's ruler was taken by James twice. Both times she didnt know it was him. After the first time, he gave it back. Then while we were watching the video with the kids, he came in the room, took the ruler once again, and crept out without her knowing.

She didnt realise it was gone, until I asked her, "Sam, can I borrow your ruler?"
Then she really freaked and thought her ruler was possessed.

Me and Dan found it hard, not to burst out laughing. LOL man, talk about a fun time.
I felt bad afterwards and told her it was James. James was even in her line of view when he took it.

A few seniors joined the Junior ICF at lunch and we played some games. We played a game where everyone hads to have a partner. The teacher would then say a 'body part' to a 'body part' (for example 'head to head' , 'shoulder to shoulder') and the pairs had to follow her instuctions. When the teacher said 'nose to nose' they all said things like 'eww' lol. it was fun.

For english we watched a movie called 'Balls Of Fury' , lame but very funny. But then the weird part was the teachers (first language english and second language english teachers) started analysing the movie! I mean what teenager would watch a comedy and then go, ' I think they were trying to express the different cultures blah blah blah'

I certainly wouldnt, I'll tel you that much.

Before P.E something special happened. But I dont wanna reveal that on a public blog! XD

I'll just say this. I felt over the moon after it happened. 8)

P.E wasnt bad. Played basketball, then went to the indons house to bathe and take for walkies their cute cute cute doggy, Rush.

They really should bathe him and take him for walks more often. He lacks attention.
Poor doggy.

Bible study was fun. We all had praise and worship and had our usual learning and reflecting for 10 mins. Then went home, to meet my sister, Lis, who came over from UK to do some voluntary work with Orang Utans.

Thats all that happened yesterday.

till next time,

JC.

(www.immenseintensity.blogspot.com)

Introduction to thyself..

2007-09-26T20:31:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone... im new to blogspot..

My name is Barnaby Joel Chiew Dao Wei.
I am half chinese and half british.
I spent the first ten years of my life in UK, then the rest of my life until now in Kuching, (East Malaysia) going back to UK for the november-december holidays...

I have four sisters, three brothers, lots of cousins and lots of neices and nephews.
I love all my family.

The most important thing in my life is God.
I am a christian and will always be.
God has been a big part in my life since baptism at the age of about five or six months old.

I am a happy and almost always happy-go-lucky guy with a troubled childhood.
Which i wish not to disclose.

My email is lerg_chiew_7@hotmail.com so add me if you would like to be my friend.
Take care one and all,
Hope you enjoy reading my future blogs...

Barnaby Joel Chiew aka iMMense iNteNsity.
Peace out.