Ok, although I havent been posting that often, I've noted that I've been recieving more hits lately. So for the fact that more of you are reading this, (possibly meaning you actually care about what happens in this meaningful and colourful life of mine) I will try my best to write more often.

As I have said before, sometimes I do write about problems and that may be the reason why some of you do read my blog other than wondering whether I'm still alive.

In my next post, continued in a few minutes I will be giving a brief explaination of the problems I have been having lately. Please bear in mind that although I will be saying them out in public, I do not wish you to think differently because I think my way. I'm from England and have moved over here to Malaysia while still having a western-world thinking.

Anyway, here goes.

iMMense.

Just writing a quick message, just to let you all know I'm still alive.

:D

Will write more when I'm not sleepy.

iMMense

Rhetorical questions, thoughts, feelings, sayings..

This post will be on mine for the last few days.

I won't just screw up once, I'll screw up a few times & if you can tolerate that, long enough to not want to kill me -say "I do"

(only for girls - I'm straight, as you should know)

A broken heart can't heal,

what a broken heart can't feel,

yet, a broken heart can't feel anymore.

Sometimes we keep things inside, just to save the people it's about from getting hurt.

You can always talk to me,

Whenever you're in doubt,

Anytime, any place,

Just know when to give a shout.

Life just is.

We're just making the most of the cards we're dealt with.

iMMense

Change. We all change. Over time and in different places.
My life changed when I came over here. I had new experiences, made new friends. made family.
Where is my life gonna end up? only God knows.

What do I do next? I dont know. Things happen. Things you can't anticipate. Things you can't predict. If you did know what decisions you were going to make, before you made them, would you still make them even if you knew they would be a bad choice? Would you still make the mistakes you made before if you knew the outcome? If you ever learned anything from the experience, I dont think you would.

"Destiny is something we have no control over." - Eminem

Things change. Change from the mistakes you make. When you have a choice, make it from your heart.

iMMense.

Well.. its been a short while. Not as long as usual but still.
I've been ok.. I mean I've had my ups and downs but i haven't been too depressed as of late, which I'm thankful for. Today wasn't great though.

Valentines day is just around the corner, and how unlucky, friday the 13th is just before it.
Does this mean we'll all get dumped and make up the next day?

Guys get your gifts ready. Make those out there you care about there show how much you care.
But one tip: Dont go overboard. (learned from other's experience - thankfully)

You know, I start to hate Valentines day. I find it very over rated. Yet, i'll still make a fuss of my friends and get them something. Hey, even if I'm down in the dumps, I don't want my friends to be now, do I?

I'm not sure about going to alpha training. At the moment, I really don't feel like going. It's gonna be one hectic day already filled with mixed emotions. I'll probably be helping people get over other people. Or even be taking the day off to be emo. :D

Oh wells,

iMMense.

Wow.. today has been a long, exhausting day.

It started off by going to the libaray at about 10.20 with Marc. The library was across river, so Marc's mum drove us there. Another reason why I cant wait to drive. :D
Once we got there we went up and had to come back downstairs to pass the man our bags as we weren't allowed to keep them with us, in the library.

So then we went up the stairs again with our books. We then went to the sejarah ( history ) section to look for books on the UN Investigation for the Formation of Malaysia. For LAN.
No bladdy info there. They had books on EVERYTHING else there though. How gay.

So after a while a tireless searching we went out to get a bite to eat. We went down to the cafe - closed. Damn it.

So we walked through the pouring rain to KGS cafe. From there we had our lunch. Saw belle there with her family, having lunch also.

After that we got a taxi back to the library, so didn't need to walk through the rain again.

Then came back at 4.30. Got back, took a quick warm shower and ended up getting back into my wet clothes to go out with Daniel, Daniel and James. lol.

Went for steamboat. Lovely. Left my bag there by accident and had to go back later for it. THANK GOD it was still there when we came back. I was praying, but still. Went for a drink at starbucks with the same people as dinner. Then came home.

Then went online and now typing this.

iMMense.

P.S feeling a bit mixed today. Not feeling too well since yesterday either.


Then came home.

Well, I know its been a hell of a long time since I last wrote/posted something on here.
New year, new beginnings ey? No, not really.

Chinese new year? kind of a dud. Asked to go out with people to other people's houses. I get it, its a tradition, like Raya.

But it means, spending money we dont have, on people we dont care that much about.. all for ? the spirit of a new year??

Christmas is understandable. We get things we want.(most of the time) but cny? money. it makes the world go round? or does the world revolve around it?

as you can probably tell by now, im not in the best of moods. And should i be?

now, dont go f*cking psycho-analysing. I know who I am and why I'm pissed off. I dont need you trying to explain it to me.. and i dont have a f*cking problem so stop trying to solve it. Yeah, I know you all care and im thankful for it.

but at the same time. right now? i couldnt give a f*ck.

yes, i guess you could say this is the REAL me.

Why do people always say this is the REAL them, after they have just bursted out in anger or something similar. Why the hell, is it always after they've done something bad?? More than likely it was a f*cking mistake and probably yeah, they let it happen. But it was always sparked by someone or something else.

Well, thats life. Hard to believe that earlier today, I was in a good mood.

Please, no comments this post. If you wanna talk you know my email and/or phone number, if not, you shouldnt know my email anyway, as I probably dont know you well enough.

And James, dont ask.

iMMense

This is it.
The end of my UK trip for 2008. Till November 2009.

Happy New Year to all of you. In which, I wish all of you God's blessings and good fortune for the year ahead.

It was fun. Snowboarding twice, dinner at Nando's, Science museum, Family outings, family events, Christmas, house party, hall party, nights out on the town.. and so on..

Now, time to put my head down and get studying, while being relaxed at the same time of course..
Cant wait to get back to school and for the weekend of seeing my mates again. I hope they have missed me. :D

iMMense

Hey guys and gals.
Well still in England, and still, luckily, having fun.
Family can be kinda annoying but I do have the antidote, friends and good times.
I miss all of you back in Kuching.

Well, no white christmas this year, which would have been nice. It really doesnt feel like christmas this year as I kinda feel that it's come too fast. I didn't even get an advent calendar this year. So, oh well.

Today was my good mate's birthday. Funnily enough he blows me off at the last minute to go see some special girl who had planned a special evening for him. we all know what that means...

Well, screw him. Not literally obviously. I was pretty annoyed but end up just going to the cinema with my other mate instead and watched 'YES man'. Tomorrow we are probably going to go again to watch 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'.

Which I'm looking forward to.

Take care everyone.

iMMense.

Well, it's been a good long time since I last updated on my wonderful, inspirational, adrenaline-junkie, boring, amusing, teenage life.

Went snowboarding last last weekend. That was absolutely brilliant. The first session was scary as I started to get back to turning and riding straight on a snowboard. That was hard. I fell down a few times, but it didnt hurt very much. After the first session during the break, I had a double shot of Southern Comfort which took the edge off of my nerves so I could actually have some fun!

I managed to nail one of the boxes and one rail, without falling down!
Now after that I really knew why people snowboard.
You get more of an adrenaline rush from snowboarding, than you do from doing drugs or alcohol. EXTREME SPORTS are the way!

Then went to the N.E.C Bikeshow. That was cool. Found some on-road buggy's that looked really cool, some I'd love to drive.

The weekend just past, I went to Poole with my great aunt, mum and sis. We stayed in a B & B and went to Monkey world, which was quite fun.

Its a shock how smart orang utan's really are.
True story: One in America, snapped a piece of wire from the gate and kept the wire in it's mouth. It then, once the keepers and visitors had all gone to sleep, it used the piece of metal wire to pick the lock, and escape!

Thats all for now,
Christmas & New Year soon

iMMense

Life sucks. Sometimes.

You know, when I was in Malaysia, I really couldn't understand why some of my family wouldn't speak or even be in the same house at the same time, let alone get along with each other. Now, I'm starting to understand why some people DONT/CANT get along with others.

I'm understanding now, moreso than before, why secrets are kept. Why things are left unspoken.
There is alot I'd love to say. But we all fear the repurcussions afterwards. These are the things that make us keep our mouths shut, locked, and the key - thrown away.

It's so hard to get along sometimes, that we find we just have to walk out the room. It kind of upsets me that people can be so idiotic and insensitive. But at the same time, I'm one to call one.

As the british say, "It's like the pot calling the kettle black".
You may understand it better, if I tell you that the pot and kettle were both black, back in the day.

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iMMense